This one principle has been so life-changing for me that I start all my coaching by focusing on being a victim or an owner. Once you understand this you will see that at any stage you are either “being” a victim, or you are “being” an owner. If you understand this principle you will never approach anything the same again.
No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
In certain situations, it can in the beginning be difficult to acknowledge. Once you have this awareness, you will then see how empowering it is.
Let’s have a look at the owner. The owner has a certain way of thinking and understands that they create everything. They own their own life. Owners understand that things don’t happen to them. It’s a way of thinking that’s very empowering.
Owners will look to the future and create their life, and victims will speak about the past. Victims will be very focused on solving the past.
Owners understand that everything is a decision. Victims think that they have no choice, everything is happening outside of them. Owners take full responsibility for everything that they do, they own every situation.
Owners get to create the world that they live in. If there is a situation in your environment, you get to choose what you do with that. Owners choose what they want to bring into existence. This type of person has chosen this state of being.
The other type of person is the victim. Victim type of person does not take responsibility for their reactions to a situation, instead, they blame everything outside of them. They do this out of habit. A victim type of person has this idea that everything is happening to them, it’s the other person or the situation that’s causing all of this.
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
— George Bernard Shaw
Often times being a victim shows up very subtly but there are ways of seeing it or identifying if a person is being a victim. One way is by the language a person uses. The owner has different thoughts so the owner uses different language.
The owner understands that everything is happening for me, not to me.
The owner takes everything that is happening and asks “What can I learn from this?” The owner asks “How can I use this?” The owner understands that everything in life and everyone in life is there to teach them something.
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